Change We Voted For: Duck and Weave, Mr. President!

Time for another addition of:

This Guy is Still Our President??

Today, our champion faces off against his most powerful foe yet - an irate Iraqi journalist and his footwear.

During a press conference with the Iraqi Prime Minister, President Bush was probably hoping for a goodbye present of some kind. After all, this was his final tour of the country whose destiny has been forever altered by his presidency. Some day, little Iraqi schoolchildren may learn about King George III of America (yes, our third president named George - there is no other connotation of that nickname) and how he led them from bondage to civil war.

Well, one Iraqi journalist, celebrating his newly discovered civil liberties, took the phrase "freedom of the press" a bit too literally, and flung his shoes in anger, one after the other, at the leader of the free world after yelling "this is the end." A bit of an odd phrase, but clearly those Nike sneakers had been irritating his heel long enough.

I will start by asserting my disappointment with the President's security team. How is it that a screaming man has the time to throw, not one, but two objects at the President of the United States before he is brought down by, and I'm not sure because the camera angle isn't great, either the Secret Service or his fellow reporters. God forbid those were acid-tipped uggs. I'm grateful that this man wasn't able to bring anything dangerous into this press conference, but it still concerns me that he was unstopped for a good five seconds.

Secondly, I want to admonish this clearly unstable reporter. I understand that Bush press conferences can be really frustrating. Let's face it: every word that comes out of the man's mouth is either poorly worded, a lie, or both. But throwing your shoes is not the answer! I'm sure Brian Williams has had to fight the urge to throw his clothing at President Bush, too. (In fact, I'm pretty sure that there will be many people who want to throw their clothing at President Obama - the favorite to be voted People Magazine's Sexiest President 2009.) But your American counterparts have been able to control themselves for these past eight years. As a member of the press, your role is to not challenge the President in any way; take a lesson from our U.S. media coverage, and just sit there and nod. If necessary, plug your ears. At least you have it easy - you don't understand the language that he is butchering.

In addition, as you can see the above video, MSNBC's analyst manages to explain the incident by pointing out that the man clearly meant to insult President Bush, because in Arab culture, the sole of the shoe is considered an insult. Hmm, here I was thinking that throwing something at the President of another country is an insult in itself.

Also, appreciate the intense stoicism of the Iraqi official next to Bush. Nary a flinch during the initial onslaught, and then a half-hearted swat at the second shoe.

Finally, I was deeply impressed by President Bush here. Calling on his intensive martial arts training, Bush was able to avoid this calculated attack. The first shoe - aimed directly at his face - flies by harmlessly as the President ducks down and darts to the left. George Foreman himself would be proud. The second shoe again comes towards Bush's face, but Bush takes a different approach with that one. Shielding his eyes like a Texas Rangers outfielder blocking out the sun searching for a fly ball, Bush ducks the second attack as well. Great reflexes.

Sadly, the Bush Administration did not escape unharmed - as you can hear in the above video, apparently White House Press Secretary Dana Perino was hit in the face with a microphone during the scuffle, which resulted in a black eye. Although lying just as much, she's at least been easier on the eyes than her predecessor, and so we wish her a speedy recovery.