Here All the Bombs Fade Away! Welcome to the New Era!

I still can't quite get my head around it. Barack Obama is the President-Elect of the United States. He is without a doubt the most gifted orator of our lifetimes, and if you don't believe me just watch his victory speech. He took ten minutes to transform "yes we can" from a popular campaign slogan to the historical culmination of the fundamental American creed. Obama's rise to stardom, and finally to the presidency, will be a topic that fascinates historians for years to come. And there's still a lot to think back on. Speaking of which, here's a nice list of things that didn't really matter after all.


But I think enough ink and pixels have been used to explain that. If you limit yourself to one recap of this whole race, and have the time and interest to really discover who these candidates (and political operatives) were, try NEWSWEEK'S fabulous 7-part series as they were given unlimited access inside the campaigns. It is really interesting to see that these politicains are real people beneath the pandering and speechifying.


Overall, I think it's time to end our focus on this election. The McCain Campaign has already started trying to place the blame on Sarah Palin, apparently hating her so much for costing them votes this year that they want to bring her down with them to ensure that she never becomes the Republican standard-bearer in a future presidential race. Among their accusations are that Palin didn't know which countries are in NAFTA and that she didn't know that Africa was a continent, not a country. Palin has responded to these accusations by labeling the McCain aides "mean-spirited," "cruel" "jerks." Now, I might be tempted to really enjoy this infighting, but like so much reality TV I must look away.


Here, at what will affectionately be known as Election Day Countdown 2.0, we don't want to play those games anymore. To utilize the wisdom that was passed along to John McCain in 2000 by the great sage, 43rd president George W. Bush, "I think we can agree, the past is over."


I finally turned the page last night. Attending a Decemberists concert in Philadelphia left me awash in a sea of liberal celebration. After their first song, Colin Meloy leaned to the front of the stage, stuck out his right hand, and declared, "Welcome to the new era." He proceeded to tell us about how the world just seems brighter, the bathrooms seem more spacious, and the air is "quiltier." Finally, they concluded the concert with a rousing rendition of "Sons and Daughters," culminating in a massive group singing of the line, over and over again, "here all the bombs fade away..." It was a terrific concert, but more importantly it signaled to me that we truly have arrived. The greatest hope that the liberal movement of this country has encountered in quite some time has reached the highest office in the land, and now we must wait to see if he comes through on his agenda.


I enjoyed writing Election Day Countdown because it kept me focused on the most intriguing narratives of this process, and also allowed me to find the lighter side of what often seemed like a cosmic struggle between good and evil. Now that the election is over, I must confess that I have had to reassess if the blogging is worth it.



The truth is that it's never really over. From today we have 1459 days to prove to the American public that Barack Obama's vision is truly the one to lead us into a brighter future. And no, it's not silly to look that far ahead, because those 4 years are going to fly by.


In the coming weeks, months, and perhaps even years, I want to provide the same services that Election Day Countdown did. I'll make sure that my readers can utilize CWVF as a resource for political knowledge, and I'll make sure that you're getting the best selection of news from around the Internet. Most importantly, I hope that you'll be entertained by my (mostly ridiculous) sense of humor. It's true that I (and all other liberal satirists) have had some trouble finding ways to make fun of Obama. However, if his first press conference was any indication, I should be fine. Besides, the GOP isn't exactly gone.


--> So let's begin by looking to the future, and beginning our rundown of the new-look Obama Administration. In the next few weeks, we'll be introducing you to the members of this presidential team as they're announced, and I'll try to give some insight into what it all means.


United States White House: 2009-2012

The Boss: Rahm Emanuel, Congressman from the state of Illinois, longtime Democratic strategist under President Clinton, and overall badass, will be playing the role of Chief-of-Staff, having officially accepted the offer on Thursday. Emanuel is now tasked with running Obama's White House, and getting stuff done. The choice sends a strong signal that Obama is more concerned with effective, results-oriented governing than playing nice with Congress. Emanuel, who has ambitions of one day succeeding Nancy Pelosi as Speaker of the House, will certainly be playing for keeps despite obviously sacrificing personal ambition for service of his country, and his established friendship with President Obama will make the two a force to be reckoned with.


If you have any doubts that the duo of Obama and Emanuel was not destined to be, just consider their first names. "Rahm" and "Barack" in Hebrew mean "thunder and lightning."



The Tongue: Robert Gibbs, after serving as Barack Obama's communications director for both his presidential and senatorial campaigns, will take the well-deserved post of White House Press Secretary. His successful turns on the cable news networks during this campaign demonstrated that he will be the perfect choice to be the face of the White House.


The Turdblossom: David Axelrod, mastermind of the Obama Machine, will take the role of Senior Advisor to the President, making him essentially the Karl Rove of this Democratic administration (hence the nickname, although something tells me that Obama won't be going around the White House giving staffers embarrassing nicknames). Axelrod is one of the smartest men in the party, and is the perfect fit for this role, as his political instincts are off the charts. I mean, how many political operatives could successfully create a compelling character for a television show, and then act it out in real life?

By the way, one final wrinkle in the West-Wing-as-real-life theory to report. The Obama character, Matt Santos, attended the Naval Academy at Annapolis like his real-life opponent John McCain. The only difference, Santos supposedly graduated top of his class, while McCain finished 5th from the bottom.


And in other news...

--> It's never too early to start the 2012 race for the GOP nomination, or the popular reality show called Who Wants to Get Their Ass Kicked By a Popular Incumbent? A lot of pundits will focus on the bright prospects of young, successful Republican governors like Tim Pawlenty (MN), Bobby Jindal (LA), and the unknown governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin. However, while politicians may lack common sense, they more than make up for it with shrewd political ambition. None of these guys would want to risk a bright political future by running against an experienced Obama. It could very well be suicide of his first term is largely successful, so look to see a range of run-of-the-mill uninspiring Republican candidates emerge. Sure, you'll see the old favorites like Mitt Romney, Mike Huckabee, and Rudy Giuliani. But what if that's just not enough for you?

Well, for those readers who were politically aware in the 1990s (I can count 3 of you off hand), you may remember a fellow who wielded some influence back then. Newt Gingrich, former Speaker of the House, is apparently very popular among influential circles of Republicans who are looking for a leader with genuine ideas who can lead them out of the wilderness. While the point about the GOP lacking new ideas might be true, it hardly seems effective to pit a politician who symbolizes the partisanship of the 1990s against a leader whose very appeal is his post-partisan mantra.


--> Because five days is apparently not long enough to figure out who won an election, I am pleased to announce today that President-Elect Barack Obama became a little bit more "elected" today when he gained another electoral vote, this one from Nebraska's second congressional district, as the state allocates its electoral votes by each district.


--> In a sign of the bipartisan spirit to come, President-Elect Obama used his first press conference yesterday to take a swing at a former First Lady, Nancy Reagan. Intending to make a joke at the expense of former first ladies who have attempted seances with the dead, Obama claimed that he had spoken to all the former living presidents since his victory, but that he "didn't want to get into a Nancy Reagan thing about doing any seances." Obama has since apologized for getting a little too big for his britches. But who could blame him? How would it feel if you suddenly came into a room with the reporters you've been talking to for 20 months, and now they all had to stand up? You'd want to make fun of widows, too. Right? ...Right?


--> In a sign of the post-racial spirit to come, President-Elect Obama also utilized his first press conference to compare himself to the sheltered dog he plans on getting for his kids, suggesting that shelter animals tend to be "mutts like me." Eesh. And they thought that satirists would have nothing to talk about with this guy...


--> Meanwhile, the Maverick gets hammered by the residents of Maverick County - just because we were expecting them to go a certain way based on their county name, they decided to not vote for their fellow Maverick and vote for the other guy.


--> Finally, if only he had known...