Thursday, November 27, 2008

Obama Won't Tell, and Hillary Versus the Constitution!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! I haven't posted in a while; and I figured that while I digest and relax after my family departed, I could update you on the world of politics.


--> Senator Clinton's impending appointment to head the State Department appears to be in some doubt, at least according to some constitutional scholars. Apparently, some document has a few rules that suggest, rather directly, that she may not be allowed to serve in the position. The Constitution clearly states that no member of Congress can be appointed to a civil office if the salary for said office has been increased during that representative's current term. Matthew Berger notes that salaries for cabinet members have gone up in the past year, and wonders how many U.S. senators would be willing to actively vote contrary to the explicit values of the Constitution. Given past history (99 voting for the USA PATRIOT Act), I'd guess 99% will have no problem with it.




--> On the policy front, President-elect Obama certainly owes a lot to the left side of his party, who will expect him to follow through on certain key issue areas. As a major lobby in the Democratic Party, Labor has been less than thrilled with Obama's economic focus in the past couple of weeks. Expressing disappointment that the choice for Secretary of Labor was not among his prominent economic appointments this week, labor leaders across the country are hoping that they will have a much more prominent seat at the table in the Obama Administration. Ben Smith (who has lost his counterpart as Jonathan Martin tragically committed "blogicide") goes over Labor's prospects for access to the next president, and what they expect him to do.



--> Another promise that the Left expects Obama to follow through on is his expected repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." Unconfirmed reports from his camp suggest that he may delay the issue until 2010, avoiding a controversial subject that would sap a lot of political good will from across the aisle. However, others in his team have vehemently denied that as purely rumor. If anyone who reads this blog is still undecided about the topic, go watch the West Wing episode that deals with it. Hopefully, President Obama will have the courage to defy any poll numbers that might dissuade him, and do what is morally right.



--> Meanwhile, the architect of the Democratic Revolution in the U.S. Senate, which brought their seat total from 45 seats in 2004 to 58 (with two more possible) today, has decided to lay down his sword, and go back to being an average, humble United States Senator. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) has stepped down as head of the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee, but the title won't travel far; Senator Bob Menendez (D-NJ) will be taking over, thanks to his reputation as a prodigious fundraiser. It will be all but impossible for Menendez to repeat Schumer's unprecedented success, but his role will more likely be to hold his ground and not let the Republicans take away this large Democratic majority.


On behalf of liberals and Democrats everywhere, I'd like to thank Senator Schumer for a job extremely well done. Now, hopefully he can be a powerful legislative force for good in the next Congress.



--> And in lighter news, President-elect Obama undertakes his first presidential crusade - to keep his Blackberry. Good luck to him.



--> Of course, this brings us to another edition of everyone's favorite never-ending series...


United States White House: 2009 - 2012

The Players:

The Institutional Memory - Secretary of Defense Robert Gates. For at least the first year of Obama's presidency, he has chosen to keep on at least one member of George W. Bush's team. Despite running against the current president, his legacy, and his entire administration for the last 20 months, Obama has actually made a relatively pragmatic decision here that will no doubt infuriate a good portion of his base (starting to notice a pattern here?).



For all that Gates has supported the War in Iraq, he is someone who has been involved in the conflict, and will be able to give Obama another perspective on the war than the rest of his crew. As the West Wing teaches us (starting to notice yet another pattern here?), experience in the previous White House is invaluable to a new president. Obama cannot remake the wheel and (as much as we'd all like to) pretend that the last eight years never happened. He has to work within the existing framework, and there is no better way to create a smooth transition than with Gates, who most Democrats admit has done a pretty decent job since taking over for this guy.


The Surgeon - Budget Director and head of the White House Office of Management and Budget Peter Orszag. As per Obama's repeated debate answer about using a scalpel to trim the federal budget, Orszag will be the guy who actually goes through the budget line-by-line. The Wall Street Journal mentions that Orszag enjoys cowboy boots, and I involuntarily shuddered at the thought of someone still wearing those in the White House.


The...Economist - Chairman of the White House Council of Economic Advisors Paul Volcker. I'd just like to say something from my own personal perspective as a blogger. It's all well and good that Obama is putting so much effort into getting fantastic economic advice from all these well-informed sources - former Fed chairmen and what-have-you. However, it's getting increasingly difficult to come up with remotely interesting nicknames for all these fairly redundant positions.


That being off my chest, Volcker has been advising Obama for months now, and is a great choice for the position. More importantly, this newly-formed board of experts is a terrific way to get a lot of educated advice into the White House.


The Scribe - Director of Speechwriting Jon Favreau. Favreau may be best known for his work as the director/producer of Iron Man and his performance as Tony Stark's bodyguard in said superhero movie. However, it turns out that Favreau has also been taking a turn as Obama's primary speechwriter for the past four years. At least, one wishes that they were the same person. Favreau has had an enormous impact on all of Obama's public statements since he got to the Senate, and his place in the White House offers additional assurance that the American people will be treated to an eloquent leader (for once).



--> Finally, in a non-White House move, the Delaware Senate controversy has finally resolved itself. By state law, the Governor of Delaware would appoint Joe Biden's Senate replacement as soon as Biden left his seat. However, Biden had reportedly been hesitant to do so, because he wanted assurance that his replacement would vacate the position after two years, in time for his son Beau (the state's Attorney General) to return home from Iraq and assume his father's throne. Supposedly, the out-going Governor Ruth Ann Minner was hesitant to appoint a place-holder, and so Biden's plan was to hold onto his seat until January 20th, have the new governor take his oath of office ASAP, and then have the new governor appoint his replacement.

Well, thankfully that ridiculousness has been avoided. Minner has named Ted Kaufman, a long time friend and advisor to Vice-President-Elect Joe Biden, as his replacement. Kaufman will loyally serve the next two years as a marching-orders vote for the VP in the Senate, and then step aside for Beau. All in the spirit of Thanksgiving...


Saturday, November 22, 2008

That Cliched Part of the Movie Where the Whole Team Comes Together for the Greater Good!

Welcome back, and I apologize for the delay - two big papers to write (am still writing, but that's another story) sort of slowed me down. However, there is so much to get to, I simply couldn't stay away, knowing how much you all need me. So, let's get to it...


--> I must admit, the recent leaks of Obama's Cabinet choices have me a little giddy. Let's assemble our crew: (note - all of the following are leaks and rumors, not yet confirmed/officially announced)

United States White House: 2009-2012

The Players:

The Begrudging Ally - Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. After all the rumors (VP??? 3rd Party?? 2012?? 2016??), Clinton has reportedly given in and agreed to take the most powerful diplomatic post in the Obama regime. As a native New Yorker, I'd like to thank her for her hard work on our behalf, and wish her the best of luck. As an American, I am thrilled to have someone who can seem so nice but be so terrifying as the person negotiating with dictators and despots.


If the government were an action movie, then Hillary is the character that seems like he/she
is not happy with their role in the team, and could potentially turn on the leader of the group. Some examples:

In this model, Hillary doesn't betray the team, but ends up learning to respect the leader who she originally doubted so much. They bury the hatchet and decide to kill terrorists together.


In this model, Hillary decides that her personal ambitions would be better suited in the Republican Party; just before the 2012 race, she abandons her Cabinet post, switches parties, offs Bill, and gives the Republican nominee all the inside dirt on Obama they need to shoot...err, defeat him electorally.



In this model, Hillary comes to the realization that the responsibility of the highest office in the land is too much for a newb like Obama. She tries to unseat him in a heated primary battle in 2012, but is ultimately turned into a pin-cushion by Republican forces who rediscover their former zeal for hating her.

Which do you think Secretary Clinton will follow? Check out the poll in the right-hand column to decide...


The Wunderkind - Secretary of the Treasury Timothy Geithner. Potentially one of the youngest heads of the Treasury in U.S. history, what Geithner lacks in wrinkles he makes up for in brains. He was mentored by both Larry Summers and Robert Rubin (former Secretaries themselves), and has been at the table throughout the federal discussions of the current crisis through his role as New York State President of the Federal Reserve. As news of this decision leaked on Friday, stocks shot up as investors seemed pleased with the choice. It goes without saying that this post has increased importance in today's financial environment; Newsweek even declared Hank Paulson the first King of America since George III. Geithner seems to have a clean record (he's never given a political contribution to ANYONE), so I'm still working on how to make fun of him beyond the simple, "TIMMAY!!!!" He does have a terrific claw attack, though.


The Beard - Secretary of Commerce Bill Richardson. Apparently having failed to grab the State Department, Richardson will reportedly be offered this consolation prize - a prize with increased importance in this economic climate. Richardson really is the ultimate government utility player, having qualified for Congress, UN ambassador, Secretary of Energy, Governor of Mexico, and now Commerce. In fantasy government, people draft Richardson early because of his flexibility. Plus, the beard is worth 20 points (here's hoping he grows it back).


The Parting Gift to John McCain - Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano. Napolitano is a brilliant, gifted politician (and an early contender for 2016), and her experience in governing a border state makes her qualified for this position. However, the decision is quite possibly also seen as a favor to Senator McCain, who would have probably been deposed in 2010 by Napolitano, who was term-limited as Governor of Arizona that year anyway. With the popular governor out of the picture, McCain will probably have a clear shot at reelection should he decide to pursue it. Perhaps Obama is hoping that McCain no longer has any hard feelings towards him, and they can work towards a common agenda.


The Doctor - Secretary of Health and Human Services Tom Daschle. Daschle (D-SD) was the top-ranking Democrat in the Senate for ten years until his surprising defeat in 2004. Obviously being rewarded for his early, vocal support of Obama's presidential campaign, Daschle will now be the guiding force on the new administration's healthcare reforms. His working relationship with Congress is certainly an asset, and one of the biggest reasons he was chosen, beyond his expertise in that policy area. Ever the poet, Daschle also recently described the U.S. healthcare system as "islands of excellence in a sea of mediocrity." Let's see if he can change that.


--> There is a lot of talk that many of these moves signal a rightward shift by the incoming president, at least in terms of foreign policy. Appointments like Clinton and Geithner signal a desire to value pragmatism over ideology, and while it might irritate the base a little bit, it's the right thing to do in a volatile situation like this.

Besides, there's something to be said for NOT filling your administration with yes-men.


--> Believe it or not (maybe not given the focus of this blog and its predecessor), there are a couple other branches of government in Washington, D.C. Recent developments in the legislature will have major consequences for the ability of President Obama to follow through on his agenda.


The West Coast Powerhouse - Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, Senator Boxer, and newly-annointed Chairman of the House Energy and Commerce Committee Henry Waxman. Waxman, in a surprising event, dethroned the veteran Democratic leader of the committee Congressman John Dingell (MI). This represents a major ideological shift in Congress, beyond the historic implications of violating the sacred laws of House seniority. Dingell was in the pockets of the auto industry, while Waxman takes his marching orders from Speaker Pelosi and is a staunch advocate of fighting climate change.

These three Californians now hold the keys to any green part of Obama's agenda, and we should be hearing from all of them quite a bit.


--> In other news, I will fulfill my sacred oath to not stop making fun of Sarah Palin. Here is an instant classic video, as Palin symbolically pardons a turkey, and then gives an interview as turkeys are brutally slaughtered behind her.




--> There is, of course, one enormous piece of news that I failed to report on this week. However, the news took a long time making its way through the series of tubes to my desk. You see, when you want to send a message, you put the message in, and it gets in line. The Internet is not some truck that you can just dump things on, after all.

I apologize for making that joke again, but sadly it will be the last time I get to make that joke (without really reaching for it). Senator Ted Stevens (R-AK) finally lost his heated race with Anchorage Mayor Mark Begich, who now becomes the crucial 58th Democratic senator in the next Congress. Stevens will no longer be there to grant us his humorous take on those damn kids, that dang-blasted technology, or the importance of wearing one's pants at the chest. I hope he finds his way home across an unnecessary, incomplete bridge.



On behalf of CWVF, I would like to thank Ted Stevens for all the decades of hilarity he has provided us all - first as a corrupt senator, and more recently as a cliched, crotchety old person.

You will be missed, and here's hoping you'll be true to your refusal to be quiet.

Monday, November 17, 2008

What Would Lincoln Do? A Team of (Bitter?) Rivals

Newsweek provides a great framing to the political theme of the last few days: reconciliation. And who knows that topic better than our 16th President? That was Abraham Lincoln, a young Illinois state representative who ran an inspiring Senate race, and then a few short years later won the highest nation in the land despite being criticized by primary opponents as an inexperienced lightweight.


When asked how he would govern, Barack Obama has repeatedly referenced the 2005 book, Team of Rivals by Doris Kearns Goodwin. Lincoln successfully out-maneuvered several experienced, savvy politicians for the Republican nomination in 1860, all of whom had more institutional backing than he did. However, when it came time to build his administration in a time of dire national challenges, he did not hold any grudges from the battle. Instead, he appointed his rivals to key Cabinet posts: New York Senator William Seward became Secretary of State, Ohio Governor Salmon Chase took over the Treasury, and Edward Bates was named Attorney General. Despite the contempt that all three showed for Lincoln even in the early days of his presidency, the President was able to get them all on his side, and use their combined political skills as a powerful mechanism for governing.



--> We now see the same process repeating itself. Apparently, after days of speculation, Senator Hillary Clinton is the front runner to be named Secretary of State. That makes sense, given that it would be foolish on Obama's part to have her name floated and then publicly reject her. I will deal with the implications of her role in Team Obama were it to happen, but this sends a clear message about President Obama's outlook on governing: he wants the best and the brightest, and it doesn't matter how critical you have been. That's what the government is already about.


Now, if this were indeed 1860, we'd view Clinton's interest in the Cabinet post as just another sign of her desire to run for President again in a few years. Way back when, the State Department used to be a stepping stone to the White House. Lately, it's been nothing more than a post for key foreign policy advisors.


--> But Obama certainly isn't finished with washing his hands of the messy business of political campaigns. Today at noon, he and CoS-in-waiting Rahm Emanuel meet with Senator John McCain and Senator Lindsey Graham to discuss political endeavors that they can embark upon together in the future. Both former presidential candidates have a lot to gain from forging a working relationship. Obama will need bi-partisan support for much of his agenda, and McCain does indeed have a reputation for going across the aisle sometimes. McCain, meanwhile, wants to rebuild his Maverick image - a power broker in the Senate now that he can't be one in the White House. The results of this meeting will be crucial to the passage of the Democratic agenda next year.


I guess if Obama really wanted to just throw in the towel and become Matthew Santos, he would just offer McCain the job of Secretary of State. Then again, I guess picking a former primary rival is close enough. Besides, he'd have to kill Fightin' Joe Biden, too, and no one wants that.


--> Meanwhile, in this time of economic crisis, we can add one more U.S. citizen to the ranks of the unemployed. Senator Barack Obama resigned his seat today, as mandated by a silly, outdated document called the Constitution. Apparently one branch per person was good enough for the founding fathers. Here's his letter to the people of Illinois, thanking them for allowing him to enter public service. What he doesn't mention is that now they have to get in line with every other state, because they don't get special treatment anymore. Ironically, this does leave the Republicans with a slim majority in the current Senate, 49 seats to 48 seats, with Lieberman and Bernie Sanders holding the other two seats (Biden hasn't resigned yet, although according to the Cheney Doctrine, there could be a stupid legal argument for him to remain in the legislative branch). Thus, if Bush-Cheney wanted to dramatically pass something ridiculous in these final few weeks, they technically have the power to do so (at this point, it really is nothing more than a technicality that the President of the United States has any sort of power).


--> Due to security concerns and federal law, when President Obama takes office he will have to give up one of his best friends: his BlackBerry. The device has not left his side through the entire campaign, but it appears that he will not be allowed to continue using it once he becomes Commander in Chief. Besides the risks of unsecured emails, the Presidential Records Act mandates the keeping of all presidential correspondence. However, Obama will indeed have a laptop on the desk, making him the first President in American history to use one (although there are unconfirmed reports of Jefferson using one - more on this as it develops). Obama is pictured below saying goodbye to his trusted advisor.

Maybe at their meeting today, Obama can thank Senator McCain for inventing it for him.

--> And speaking of technology, Barack Obama is going to communicate with the American people in a way most befitting the 21st century: YouTube. Obama will be delivering weekly fireside chats straight to the American people, and they will be webcasted and put on the popular internet video site. Reportedly, the videos will be accompanied by hilarious graphics and lolcatz to make them more entertaining. Oh, and all important announcements will be preceded by dramatic stare gopher.


It's good to know that Presidential addresses will now be taken as seriously as this guy. Imagine Obama doing that to Hail to the Chief.


--> By the way, that Newsweek article about Obama babies is finally out, with one interesting tidbit that I hadn't realized until now. Obama's birthday, August 4, 1961, would indicate the possibility that he was conceived just around JFK's election to the White House. So will one of the Obama baby boom become another president? Only time will tell. In case the process had already been going, I decided to check what was going on about 9 months before JFK's birth. Unless his parents were particularly worked up about Bulgaria's delcaration of war against Romania, I think there isn't a pattern here.


--> Laura Bush's conception of the role of the First Lady might not be exactly what Michelle Obama, a graduate of Harvard Law School, is looking for. Asked about their tour of the White House, Mrs. Bush explained, "I showed her the closets. I showed her all the things that women are interested in." It turns out that the Bush White House is actually run like the cliched suburban home of the 1950s. Laura Bush spends her time cleaning and cooking, so when George comes home after a hard day at work, he can sit down on his reclining chair with a beer and watch the game. Somehow I feel as if Michelle has bigger fish to fry, but her first priority will certainly be taking care of her two daughters.


And now, another edition of Governing with the Stars:

United States White House: 2009-2012

The Players:

The Consigliere - Gregory Craig, White House Counsel. Not a very surprising move here, but one that gives further insight into what sort of White House Obama is looking to build. Loyalty is certainly shown to be an important characteristic, as Craig has been on the Obama team for months. In addition, it would seem that Obama is not all that allergic to White House insiders - Craig headed Bill Clinton's impeachment defense. Hopefully that skill set won't be called upon this time around, as it would seem that Obama knows what the definition of "is" is. Most importantly, of course, President Obama wants a counsel that can do terrific impressions. Craig co-starred as the crotchety Senator from Arizona in the Obama Campaign's award-winning production of "Presidential Debate - the Preparations." Craig better leave that role behind, though, because I won't be able to stand it if he starts calling everyone his friends.



The Bosom Buddy - Valerie Jarrett, senior adviser and assistant to the president for intergovernment relations and public liaison (now that's a mouthful). Rumors of her wanting to replace Obama in the Senate or serve in a Cabinet post appear to have been misinformed. A longtime personal friend of the Obamas, and a member of his campaign's inner circle since he ran for state senate, Jarrett will most certainly have the ear of the President (which of course means that everyone, in turn, will want her ear). It also means that the White House now has its token black official. Or is Craig the token white official? I can't remember how it works anymore.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Sex We Can Believe In, Hope Begets Fascism and/or Marxism, and the Healthman Cometh!

So I'll start with a couple headlines that certainly caught my attention, and then we'll move towards legitimate rumblings as the Obama Administration starts to take shape.


--> Congressman Paul Broun (R-GA), fresh off a resounding victory in this year's election, decided to permanently launch his name into consideration for the next edition of Profiles in Courage. Despite it being unpopular to say, Broun decided that the American people deserved the truth, and so he took it upon himself to warn the Associated Press about the political catastrophe that awaits with the swearing in of Barack Obama. After a thorough examination of a July speech that Senator Obama gave in Colorado, Broun noticed some odd phrases. He noticed that Obama was calling for a "civilian security force," and being a student of history (and a student of ignoring the rest of the paragraph), Broun sprang into action. His chilling warning reads, "It may sound a bit crazy and off base, but the thing is, he's the one who proposed this national security force. I'm just trying to bring attention to the fact that we may — may not, I hope not — but we may have a problem with that type of philosophy of radical socialism or Marxism."


That's right, President-Elect Obama has been plotting to overthrow our democratic system with the help of a private security force. What force, you ask? Well, a closer examination of the speech in question indicates that Obama was actually talking about doubling the Peace Corps and expanding the foreign service. And by closer, I mean that I actually read it, which Broun clearly didn't. But just to emphasize the danger, Broun (pictured above with his trusty Communist-hunting hound) continued, "That's exactly what Hitler did in Nazi Germany and it's exactly what the Soviet Union did. When he's proposing to have a national security force that's answering to him, that is as strong as the U.S. military, he's showing me signs of being Marxist."


Now, besides the fact that he's completely missing what Obama's proposal actually means, let's stop and examine the differences between fascism and Marxism. They're pretty much opposites. So the fact that Broun can't distinguish which category Obama falls into is kind of worrying.



However, Broun (pictured above with his trusty hunting bear), now sensing that he's losing his audience, goes into full scare-tactic mode: "We can't be lulled into complacency. You have to remember that Adolf Hitler was elected in a democratic Germany. I'm not comparing him to Adolf Hitler. What I'm saying is there is the potential."

That's right, Barack Obama HAS THE POTENTIAL to become Adolf Hitler. All us Jews who voted for him really should have thought twice.


Broun apologized yesterday for his ill-phrased remarks, but asserted that he is merely troubled by Obama's socialist leanings. I can imagine a high school history teacher hitting him over the head with a frying pan, and yelling, "Hitler wasn't a socialist, you ninny!"

Note to my readers: Whenever you come across a headline like "Georgia Congressman Warns of Obama Dictatorship," you should probably expect a post on this blog.


--> For those of you who took part in spontaneous celebrations last Tuesday night, Newsweek is curious if there were any unintended consequences. Namely, did anyone out there celebrate the election of Barack Obama by fornicating wildly? And if so, did you make a Barack baby? And if so, will its middle name be Hussein? Granted, I did hear some stories from a trusted source at Oberlin College involving public indecency (and there was certainly some streaking here), but I am curious if any of my readers got so possessed with hope for the future that they decided to bring another life into it.



And that's Newsweek, always striving for the highest levels of journalistic achievement. Did I mention that they had an awesome story about the election?


But enough about the present. Let's look once more at the future of our government, as several key pieces are starting to fall into place:

The Initiatives

--> President-Elect Obama announced today that he will be fulfilling his campaign promise by creating a White House Office of Urban Policy. Its goal will be to oversee urban development, and to work with metropolitan governments in order to strengthen our cities. ABC's eagle-eyed political team notices that Obama won city voters by 28 percent, I suppose implying that Obama cares about cities simply for their electoral support, as opposed to their massive numbers of American citizens. Does that mean that President McCain would have created a White House Office of Gadfly Plumbers or a Department of Hockey Moms?


--> Meanwhile, Team Obama appears to stick to what it preaches. Jonathan Martin reports on the Obama will attempt to limit the influence of lobbyists on his transition team and within his White House, and transition chief John Podesta has put out a list of rules assuring this purity. I'm still waiting to see a Federal Committee on Hope, and until that happens I'll still reject Obama for abandoning some principles of his campaign...Comeon! I'm trying to be critical...


--> Finally, and most interestingly, powerful Senate Finance Committee Chairman Max Baucus (D-MT) announced today his proposal to overhaul the United States healthcare system, modeling it on the successful system already in place in Massachusetts. Universal healthcare is a major plank of the Democratic platform, and is an issue that Obama ran very heavily on in the final few weeks. However, Baucus's plan actually mirrors Senator Clinton's as opposed to Obama's. While Barack only insisted on a mandate that all children be covered by health insurance, Baucus would require all Americans to be covered. This would be a massive legislative achievement that would go immediately into the history books and improve the lives of the 46 million citizens who don't currently have healthcare.


This figures to be an enormous issue next year as the new administration takes office (the three men pictured above will probably be the most influential - Baucus, the least recognizable, is in the middle), and Paul Krugman is already hopeful, asserting, as I suspected all along, that "the word I hear, by the way, is that Obama’s opposition to mandates was tactical politics, not conviction — so he may well be prepared to do the right thing now that the election is won." Maybe we will actually pass this in time for Ted Kennedy to witness it. Good luck, Democrats. If this succeeds, I'll take back every comment/fear I ever expressed about your Congressional majority being too scared of losing seats to do anything risky.


The Players

--> Politico has a terrific story on Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and how she may wield more power than any woman in the history of this country. Somewhere in Chappaqua, Senator Clinton is bristling at that sentence. For all her public, irritating politeness, Pelosi knows how to bash heads together behind the scenes, and she will be a force to be reckoned with, by President Obama as well as leaders of the GOP.


--> Rumors for Cabinet positions continue to fly. In the hours following his victory, whispers and suggestions began flying out of Camp Obama, and they haven't stopped since. Here's a brief summary of what we know, and what we might not know but will report as if we know it anyway:

Secretary of State: Right now it looks like an all-out struggle between Governor Bill Richardson (now shaved!!!!) and Senator John Kerry. Both are very well qualified, and both have a lot of support in the party establishment, although Richardson is reportedly the only candidate who took Obama literally when he said that he wants to "clean up Washington," and adjusted his facial hair accordingly. Other names floating around include Richard (not Hal, as per my bizarre dream in which the Mark Twain impersonator was named as Obama's running mate) Holbrooke, Richard Lugar, Chuck Hagel, and Hillary Clinton. The latter sounds extremely unlikely, but this choice for arguably the most importnat Cabinet post will be a big one.


Colin Powell: Obviously one of the smartest, most qualified men in America, and it's quite possible that Obama rewards him for that touching endorsement (and reaches across the aisle for good measure) by giving him the coveted title of Secretary of Defense. There were also rumors of Powell being considered for Secretary of Education, but I'll believe that when I see it.

Kennedy Family: Caroline, already a key player in Obama's team, is reportedly up for a turn as Ambassador to the United Nations. Robert F. Kennedy Jr., meanwhile, may be rewarded for his terrific endorsement of NYS Assembly candidate Jonathan Smith with an opportunity to head the EPA. Both would be amazing decisions.



Agriculture: Former Iowa Governor Tom Vilsack is apparently the front-runner here, but that again is entirely speculation.

Defense: Although Colin Powell returning to the White House would be nothing short of a gift from God, it looks like Obama may look to avoid shaking up connections with the Afghan community, and attempt to reassure military people who think he is purely driven by ideology. That would mean retaining Secretary Robert Gates for another couple of years, who has certainly not done a bad job but by no means is a darling of the liberal base.


--> Meanwhile, on-again, off-again Democratic scapegoat Joe Lieberman's fate will be decided in the next few weeks, as the Democratic caucus prepares to decide whether to kick him out. President-Elect Obama, in a smart attempt to reconcile partisan conflicts and reach some agreements in the next two years, appears to have come out in favor of keeping Lieberman in the party's ranks.


--> Finally, to the delight of foaming-at-the-mouth liberal bloggers everywhere, Andrew Sullivan explains why we shouldn't let Sarah Palin go that easily. This election may be over, but Sullivan's piece gives us all (especially me) a free pass to keep tearing into her as much as we can. I can't wait...

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Here All the Bombs Fade Away! Welcome to the New Era!

I still can't quite get my head around it. Barack Obama is the President-Elect of the United States. He is without a doubt the most gifted orator of our lifetimes, and if you don't believe me just watch his victory speech. He took ten minutes to transform "yes we can" from a popular campaign slogan to the historical culmination of the fundamental American creed. Obama's rise to stardom, and finally to the presidency, will be a topic that fascinates historians for years to come. And there's still a lot to think back on. Speaking of which, here's a nice list of things that didn't really matter after all.


But I think enough ink and pixels have been used to explain that. If you limit yourself to one recap of this whole race, and have the time and interest to really discover who these candidates (and political operatives) were, try NEWSWEEK'S fabulous 7-part series as they were given unlimited access inside the campaigns. It is really interesting to see that these politicains are real people beneath the pandering and speechifying.


Overall, I think it's time to end our focus on this election. The McCain Campaign has already started trying to place the blame on Sarah Palin, apparently hating her so much for costing them votes this year that they want to bring her down with them to ensure that she never becomes the Republican standard-bearer in a future presidential race. Among their accusations are that Palin didn't know which countries are in NAFTA and that she didn't know that Africa was a continent, not a country. Palin has responded to these accusations by labeling the McCain aides "mean-spirited," "cruel" "jerks." Now, I might be tempted to really enjoy this infighting, but like so much reality TV I must look away.


Here, at what will affectionately be known as Election Day Countdown 2.0, we don't want to play those games anymore. To utilize the wisdom that was passed along to John McCain in 2000 by the great sage, 43rd president George W. Bush, "I think we can agree, the past is over."


I finally turned the page last night. Attending a Decemberists concert in Philadelphia left me awash in a sea of liberal celebration. After their first song, Colin Meloy leaned to the front of the stage, stuck out his right hand, and declared, "Welcome to the new era." He proceeded to tell us about how the world just seems brighter, the bathrooms seem more spacious, and the air is "quiltier." Finally, they concluded the concert with a rousing rendition of "Sons and Daughters," culminating in a massive group singing of the line, over and over again, "here all the bombs fade away..." It was a terrific concert, but more importantly it signaled to me that we truly have arrived. The greatest hope that the liberal movement of this country has encountered in quite some time has reached the highest office in the land, and now we must wait to see if he comes through on his agenda.


I enjoyed writing Election Day Countdown because it kept me focused on the most intriguing narratives of this process, and also allowed me to find the lighter side of what often seemed like a cosmic struggle between good and evil. Now that the election is over, I must confess that I have had to reassess if the blogging is worth it.



The truth is that it's never really over. From today we have 1459 days to prove to the American public that Barack Obama's vision is truly the one to lead us into a brighter future. And no, it's not silly to look that far ahead, because those 4 years are going to fly by.


In the coming weeks, months, and perhaps even years, I want to provide the same services that Election Day Countdown did. I'll make sure that my readers can utilize CWVF as a resource for political knowledge, and I'll make sure that you're getting the best selection of news from around the Internet. Most importantly, I hope that you'll be entertained by my (mostly ridiculous) sense of humor. It's true that I (and all other liberal satirists) have had some trouble finding ways to make fun of Obama. However, if his first press conference was any indication, I should be fine. Besides, the GOP isn't exactly gone.


--> So let's begin by looking to the future, and beginning our rundown of the new-look Obama Administration. In the next few weeks, we'll be introducing you to the members of this presidential team as they're announced, and I'll try to give some insight into what it all means.


United States White House: 2009-2012

The Boss: Rahm Emanuel, Congressman from the state of Illinois, longtime Democratic strategist under President Clinton, and overall badass, will be playing the role of Chief-of-Staff, having officially accepted the offer on Thursday. Emanuel is now tasked with running Obama's White House, and getting stuff done. The choice sends a strong signal that Obama is more concerned with effective, results-oriented governing than playing nice with Congress. Emanuel, who has ambitions of one day succeeding Nancy Pelosi as Speaker of the House, will certainly be playing for keeps despite obviously sacrificing personal ambition for service of his country, and his established friendship with President Obama will make the two a force to be reckoned with.


If you have any doubts that the duo of Obama and Emanuel was not destined to be, just consider their first names. "Rahm" and "Barack" in Hebrew mean "thunder and lightning."



The Tongue:
Robert Gibbs, after serving as Barack Obama's communications director for both his presidential and senatorial campaigns, will take the well-deserved post of White House Press Secretary. His successful turns on the cable news networks during this campaign demonstrated that he will be the perfect choice to be the face of the White House.


The Turdblossom: David Axelrod, mastermind of the Obama Machine, will take the role of Senior Advisor to the President, making him essentially the Karl Rove of this Democratic administration (hence the nickname, although something tells me that Obama won't be going around the White House giving staffers embarrassing nicknames). Axelrod is one of the smartest men in the party, and is the perfect fit for this role, as his political instincts are off the charts. I mean, how many political operatives could successfully create a compelling character for a television show, and then act it out in real life?

By the way, one final wrinkle in the West-Wing-as-real-life theory to report. The Obama character, Matt Santos, attended the Naval Academy at Annapolis like his real-life opponent John McCain. The only difference, Santos supposedly graduated top of his class, while McCain finished 5th from the bottom.


And in other news...

--> It's never too early to start the 2012 race for the GOP nomination, or the popular reality show called Who Wants to Get Their Ass Kicked By a Popular Incumbent? A lot of pundits will focus on the bright prospects of young, successful Republican governors like Tim Pawlenty (MN), Bobby Jindal (LA), and the unknown governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin. However, while politicians may lack common sense, they more than make up for it with shrewd political ambition. None of these guys would want to risk a bright political future by running against an experienced Obama. It could very well be suicide of his first term is largely successful, so look to see a range of run-of-the-mill uninspiring Republican candidates emerge. Sure, you'll see the old favorites like Mitt Romney, Mike Huckabee, and Rudy Giuliani. But what if that's just not enough for you?

Well, for those readers who were politically aware in the 1990s (I can count 3 of you off hand), you may remember a fellow who wielded some influence back then. Newt Gingrich, former Speaker of the House, is apparently very popular among influential circles of Republicans who are looking for a leader with genuine ideas who can lead them out of the wilderness. While the point about the GOP lacking new ideas might be true, it hardly seems effective to pit a politician who symbolizes the partisanship of the 1990s against a leader whose very appeal is his post-partisan mantra.


--> Because five days is apparently not long enough to figure out who won an election, I am pleased to announce today that President-Elect Barack Obama became a little bit more "elected" today when he gained another electoral vote, this one from Nebraska's second congressional district, as the state allocates its electoral votes by each district.


--> In a sign of the bipartisan spirit to come, President-Elect Obama used his first press conference yesterday to take a swing at a former First Lady, Nancy Reagan. Intending to make a joke at the expense of former first ladies who have attempted seances with the dead, Obama claimed that he had spoken to all the former living presidents since his victory, but that he "didn't want to get into a Nancy Reagan thing about doing any seances." Obama has since apologized for getting a little too big for his britches. But who could blame him? How would it feel if you suddenly came into a room with the reporters you've been talking to for 20 months, and now they all had to stand up? You'd want to make fun of widows, too. Right? ...Right?


--> In a sign of the post-racial spirit to come, President-Elect Obama also utilized his first press conference to compare himself to the sheltered dog he plans on getting for his kids, suggesting that shelter animals tend to be "mutts like me." Eesh. And they thought that satirists would have nothing to talk about with this guy...


--> Meanwhile, the Maverick gets hammered by the residents of Maverick County - just because we were expecting them to go a certain way based on their county name, they decided to not vote for their fellow Maverick and vote for the other guy.


--> Finally, if only he had known...